further disturbance (screenplay, updated)

As the development of this screenplay progresses, I am becoming painfully aware of how trite and unsatisfactory the original story is. In retrospect, it is loaded with cheap shots, and, well, fundamentally misogynistic.

Writing this screenplay, I am becoming better acquainted with the characters--a necessary outcome of putting words in their mouths, and forcing them to interact--in this process, they become more human, more individualized--and far more sympathetic.  It's no longer a simple comedy.

The original story line seems to be holding up, but each major character has its own issues, its own struggle. Cortney and Donna, and Lisa and Robin are becoming sets of foils. The Old Man and Terry's father will be foils as well.

Those of you from my neck of the woods will recognize the Gazebo Park on Carroll Avenue, Video American, the Takoma Park Co-op, and Galliher and Huguely's lumber yard on Blair Road. Terry's apartment will be on funky Edinburg Lane. Other "landmarks" will appear.

My ultimate objective is to shoot this movie here, in Takoma Park and Silver Spring, with local production and talent.